Wishing & Hoping & Thinking & Praying & Planning & Dreaming: How am I supposed to relax?

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IVF Stats

IVF #1:
June 2008
Long Lupron
Canceled due to poor response to protocol

IVF #2:
July 2008
Microdose Lupron
Canceled due to poor response to protocol

IVF #3:
June 2009
Antagonist
Estrogen Priming
DHEA supplements
4 embies frozen

**what I did different for IVF #3: 75 mg/day of DHEA & 7 wheatgrass pills/day (for at least 4 months prior)

FET: March 2010
2/17/10: Start estrogen patches
3/2/10: lining check (lining at 9)
3/5/10: transferred 3 embryos (B+ grade, 6, 7, & 8 cell)
3/13/10: + HPT (8dp3dt)
3/16/10: Beta #1 282 (11dp3dt)
3/18/10: Beta #2 817 (13dp3dt)
4/5/10: u/s: not 1, not 2, but 3 babies

What does that mean?!

5dt = 5 day transfer
3dt = 3 day transfer
AF = Aunt flow (period)
B/W = bloodwork
BCP = Birth Control Pills
BFN = Big Fat Negative (aka: Not Pregnant)
BFP = Big Fat Postive (aka: Pregnant!)
BIL= Brother-in-law
DE- Donor Eggs
DOR= Diminished ovarian reserve
DPO = Days Past Ovulation
E2= estrodial (estrogen)
ER = Egg Retreival
ET = Egg Transfer
FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer
FIL= Father-in-law
IF = Infertility
IUI = Intrauterine Insemination
IVF = In-vitro Fertilization
M/C = Miscarriage
MFI = Male factor Infertility
MIL= Mother-in-law
O = Ovulation
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
PIO = Progesterone in Oil
POF= premature ovarian failure
SIL = Sister- in-law
Stims = Follicle Stimulating Drugs
TTC = Trying to Conceive
TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
U/S = Ultrasound

Sunday, February 28, 2010

How am I supposed to relax?

I know the best thing to make this FET work is to relax (mainly the day of the transfer) but all I can do is think about it and the possibility of it not working. I know the patches are doing their job because the CM has been ridiculous (sorry if TMI).

Lining check Tuesday.
Have an appointment for pre/post acupuncture on Friday.
Starting POM & bromelin tomorrow to help with implantation (don't care if it is a wive's tale).

Last alcoholic drink tonight (margarita at dinner)

:::NERVOUS::::

4 comments:

Fran: It's so nerve-wrecking! I tried to calm myself down with meditation and yoga. It helped a good bit. Thinking of you on tuesday. love, Fran; February 28, 2010 at 4:31 PM
Peppermint Patty: Be positive and praying for a good outcome! :); February 28, 2010 at 8:21 PM
JJG: Praying for you!! You deserve this. I can't wait to hear all about your good news; March 1, 2010 at 4:56 AM
Bella: It's impossible to relax!! Stay as positive as possible and envision those embies snuggling in tight!! Crossing everything for you guys!!; March 1, 2010 at 9:28 AM

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"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother"

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes, I will be a wonderful mother."

-Unknown

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Sunday, February 28, 2010

How am I supposed to relax?

4 comments:

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