AF is here, bittersweet

So when January's AF arrived I was supposed to start my estrogen priming for my next IVF. So as I got it yesterday, I realized it is a week early. I am sad that I am not able to move forward with this IVF cycle but I also relieved that she's made her grand entrance once again.

My surgery where I had my tubes out I was on AF at the time. Let me just tell you, it is not fun to tell every doctor, anesthesiologist, and anyone else who comes to check on you that you are on AF. I had to tell them all though because nobody seemed to know what to have me do.

Bottom line, I won't have to tell everyone and their mother that I am on my period at the time of my next surgery. Perhaps God is looking out for me after all:)

Have you seen this one??

I have gotten this a couple times and I am so tired of seeing it.

Quote of the day: 
'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

Not all people can produce a baby with sperm! I think the toughest thing is that all the people who have sent this have know about my IF. I know they don't think about it but every time I get it it's like it pushes a dagger a little farther into my heart.

Got it...

I got an email from the Dr.yesterday, I got the referral!!
Now I am just waiting for a call from UCH to get me in and get the surgery scheduled.

Update on me...

This is directly from my caringbridge site so if you check that, no need to read on:)

I wanted to give you an update from my appointment today although nothing was really accomplished.

I went to see Dr. M at Kaiser who is a surgeon. We spoke about the tumor in my chest and he pretty much told me the same info that my oncologist told me. I said that my oncologist would like me to get referred to UCH to see a board certified thoracic surgeon. He seemed pretty shocked that I was asking for a referral. I told him it was nothing against him but that all my surgeries have been at UCH and I would like a board certified surgeon. He said that he has done these surgeries several times and feels very comfortable doing it but would ask the head of surgery if I could have a referral. He said that he didn't know if the request would be granted because there were so many docs that could do this surgery effectively.

I have a call into a couple docs, including my oncologist about the referral. I should hear either way in the next couple days. Dr. M agreed that this surgery needs to happen in the next couple weeks.

That's all to report, I'll update when I know more.

Update...

Things with my dad I guess are OK. He emailed me back and said that he just wanted to be there for me and support me through this tough journey. I plan to ask him to fly out here to be with me for the surgery.

The current owners of the house said they would replace the roof for us so that's great news too.

The only crappy news is that I still probably have cancer in my chest but I will deal with that one day at a time. I realize this has turned into more of a cancer journal than anything but that's what going on in my life right now.

Thoughts and prayers to Andrea who will be having her thyroid out tomorrow due to cancer.

High to Low in a Day

How is it that things can go from so good to so bad so quickly?

Where do I start?

One, I didn't get the job that I applied for but they guy said that interviewed awesome and would find a great job. They wanted to go with someone who had experience...now how the hell do I get experience if nobody will hire me? It's probably for the best because of the lymph node that will need to be removed later this month.

On to that, I am fighting terribly with my dad because he just doesn't know when to stop pushing things. I talked to my radiation oncologist today and he said that more likely that not the lump in my chest is my previous cancer metastasized. Radiation is not an option because of where it's located. When it got bigger it grew back and is now close to my esophagus and radiation could severely damage it.

Now we get a call from our realtor saying that after the sellers originally said they would repair the roof when our inspector and another roofer said it needed to be repaired, the chick who lives there (it's a divorce situation) somehow got two people to come out and say the roof is fine. As much as we hated to say it, we had to tell our realtor that if they don't replace the roof the deal is off. Now we just have to wait and see if they decide to let the deal fall or not.

This day is the perfect example of SHIT hitting the fan...just this morning things seemed OK.

I'm going to bed, I've turned off my phone because I don't even want to know what other news I might get.

Dealing

I am slowly dealing with my recent news about surgery. I've tried looking things up online and there really isn't much out there. I have an appointment next Thursday with my thoracic surgeon to get info on the surgery and probably get it scheduled. I hope I am able to go to our closing and move into our new house. I am one that likes to get everything unpacked and things on the walls in the first couple days after moving in so this should be interesting.

I've been talking to a lady I work with and her roommate is a nurse and she said my upcoming surgery will likely keep me off my feet and out of work for 8-12 weeks!! WOW, she said it is basically bypass surgery, to that extent of recovery. I will be happy to go to the surgeon and find out all this for sure.

As much as I bitch about my insurance not covering my IF treatments, I am so thankful to have them for all this crap and even more grateful there isn't a lifetime maximum for coverage because I would for sure be there by now.

I'll keep you updated as I know more.