Getting closer...

I cannot believe that on Friday I am going to start injecting myself again with all sorts of drugs. I am taking the Estrace and don't really notice any difference with the exception of increased CM. It just doesn't seem real that this is happening, any of it. I am prepared that if we don't get any embies that this will be our last shot with my own eggs since the chemo will pretty much wipe out everything that's remotely good in my body.

My RE's office wants me to have a consult with an anesthesiologist to make sure that it's safe to sedate me for my ER. I have freaking cancer, knock my ass out and let me enjoy it. I understand they are trying to cover their butt but come on, they are being ridiculous. I wouldn't have so much of a problem with it if I didn't have to pay OOP for the consult...yeah that's the shitty part and I'm not having it. I was supposed to hear back from my RE's office today as to if they were going to "make" me do it or not and haven't heard anything so I'm not going to push it. I see them on Friday anyway for my baseline u/s and injection teaching (3rd time's a charm right?).

Best news so far...I am done with school this week! I don't have kids tomorrow and Thursday is our last day! YAHOO! They are lucky they don't have to deal with me on clomid and everything else;)

Random Photos

Just going through some pics off my camera and wanted to share some...hope you have a great Memorial Day weekend...be safe!

What an odd couple...


Saw this T-shit today at Walmart and couldn't resist.


Flower in my garden...I'm turning into such a green thumb (this one was already planted (LOL)

Why do they stress me out?

First, thanks to all you who gave me words of encouragement. I am going through with the IVF cycle as planned and I hate my oncologists' nurses. When my IVF nurse says they are bitches (not in those words) and very unprofessional, I have a big problem. They got their stupid note to go through with the ER. Now they are worried about the anesthesia aspect of it. Are you f-ing kidding? I have cancer, that's all, I can handle anesthesia. They want me to have a special consult to make sure it's OK. Umm, I'm not paying for that, plain and simple and I'll take the risks associated with it. What could possibly happen, I get cancer?? HA! Hey if I can't joke about it I'll never make it.

So the plan is to stick to the plan...yeah, I know, confusing.

UGGGGHHH

I am so frustrated right now. I told my IVF nurse that I wouldn't be transferring embies like we have wanted because of the mass in my chest. Now they need another fucking note from my oncologist to say it's OK to stimulate me with this mass. I get they're covering their ass but they already have a note from them saying it's OK why do they need another. Plus, I already have all the damn drugs (almost $4000 worth)...don't even tell me I can't go through with this or you will see a crazy bitch and I am not kidding. To think all this rage and I haven't even started the clomid...yikes.

I'll keep you updated.

My Cancer is back...AGAIN

3rd time's a charm??

Once again, my cancer has returned. For those keeping track, this is 3 times. My CT scan from Monday showed a mass in my chest about 5 inches lower than where they took the tumor in January. This tumor is already 2cm X 1cm, which seems to be growing fairly quick since it didn't show up at all on my March PET or January CT. I met with my radiation oncologist this afternoon (he got me in when he looked at my scan so I didn't have to wait until Monday).

I will call to make an appointment with my medical oncologist on Monday but as of right now, the plan is do not do surgery but to start with the chemo this summer. With a tumor, we can now track how well the chemo is working (a positive). I will know more specific details like when I start when I meet with my oncologist.

It's never easy to hear you have cancer once, and twice is a shock, this time, I guess I expected it. I knew another tumor would pop up eventually since it is in my blood stream but I guess I didn't think it would be this quick. Oh well, now I fight like hell once again and I think this is going to be the toughest fight so far.

So now we will freeze embies (if we get any) instead of transferring ;(

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Keep Going

My RE said to continue with our plan and I will start taking Estrace tonight. This will prevent me from getting any follies until I am stimulated. I am so relieved.

SHIT

AF is here...

I have a call into my IVF nurse to see what we do now since I cannot start my Estrace tonight now that she's come. WTF?? I have had normal cycles my entire life and now that it counts it is all messed up. I just hope that there's a reason for this. Maybe God knows that I would do better w/o the Estrace and that's why the day I'm supposed to start it I get my period. I just don't know what the RE will say as to what to do now.