Thankful

Here are a few things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.
1. My DH
2. My family & friends
3. health insurance (even though they don't pay for shit re: IF)
4. the amazing people I have met on this IF journey
5. My life...an amazing thing when you're dealing with a 3rd recurrence of cancer.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, may you and yours thoroughly enjoy the holiday.

Amazing

I decided it would be cool to do one of those cluster maps (located on the right of the page). I saw it on Fran's blog and thought, what the heck. Let me just say that I am amazed that I have that many people from all over the world that follow, or at least check in on, my blog. If you don't have this, I highly suggest doing it as you would be amazed. Here I thought I was just writing down me feelings and maybe 15-20 people checked in on me. Thanks to whoever you are out there even if you're just a lurker, it really means a lot.

Why?

Why is it that people who don't want kids get pregnant?

Why is it that a woman who sells her five y/o daughter to be a sex slave is now pregnant with another baby?

Why is it that a couple we know who has severe money issues, is pregnant again?

There are so many other why's...

As my DH just said, "Poor doesn't stop sperm," and I said, "Money doesn't make babies either." We've learned all too well both of these.

WTH??

I got a bill from my RE's office that said I owed $400 for services from 2008. I am pissed. They said that all the money we paid for our package deal in 2008 would transfer over to our ER that we finally did in June. We had never made it to an ER before so I still had that money left in our account. I called the billing office and tried to explain the situation but someone who hasn't done all the IVF "stuff" doesn't really understand. She said she would look into it and get back to me...still have yet to hear anything.

Who Would've Thought?

Who would've thought that this shitty voyage we're all on called infertility could lead to such great friendships? I was so honored the other day when I got an invite to Bella's baby shower. We have gotten to know each other through the nest, then via text messages and phone calls over the last year or so. When I was going through all my latest IF stuff and now more cancer stuff, she's always there whether on my cancer blog, this one, FB, or through text messaging letting me know she's there for me. I am looking into flights to go to the shower but might have to go out after the babies are born due to my pending upcoming surgery. I've never even met her in real life but have no qualms about booking a flight to see her!

I also enjoy chatting with others that I've met through the blog world on FB-you know who you are ladies.

It means so much to have a support system of people I've never even met. You mean the world to me.


Thanks!!

A Plan??

I had a CT scan this morning right before my appointment with the thoracic surgeon. The CT was very easy. The great news is that there is not any fluid in my chest right now. Bad news, the tumor is bigger than we thought. With the fluid gone we can now see the entire tumor and it's a bit longer than we saw before. It is several inches long but not very wide.

When I spoke to the surgeon he said that he feels that with my age (young;) we should be as aggressive as possible and go in and take it out. With that being said, the surgery is tentatively scheduled for December 28th. He said the earliest we could do the surgery was the beginning of December so I asked if we could wait until after Christmas so DH and I could still got to San Francisco. He said that was completely fine. He did say, no partying for me on New Year's Eve this year though:) He does think that this tumor is attached to my aorta and it's going to be very similar to my last surgery that he won't know what he will have to do until he gets in there. I asked what an open surgery entails and if it really means the breaking of ribs, he said no. They go in and cut the muscle in between the ribs but he said it's still very painful.

The thoracic surgeon did say that he has another patient with sy.no.vial cell sa.rc.oma who has lung nodules that he's been removing for 10 years now. She has nodules right now but they aren't growing so he's just letting them be and she's doing great. That is probably one of the most encouraging pieces of information that I've gotten in a long time.

I think that's all to report for today, I was able to get my flu shot while I was there so that's good.

Update

Just a quick update on me....
We made it to Wicked...awesome show!

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning to talk with a thoracic surgeon about possibly having another surgery to remove this tumor. I started radiation but had fluid build up around the tumor site so they couldn't be 100% accurate with the radiation. I had a chest tub inserted to drain the fluid but it was bumping up against my nerve so it hurt like hell.

I am done with all this cancer shit.

I love seeing so many that I *know* in the cyber world getting pregnant but it's still so hard to know that I won't be there any time soon (if ever). DH and I have been talking about possibly not having kids-I don't think either one of us are serious though. I have had 2 good friends offer to be surrogates for me. I don't know if I could do that though.

I'll update when I have more of a plan with what to do with this tumor in my chest.

Thanks for checking in.