She's Here!!

AF is here...finally!
Thank you for all the vibes.
I've been having teasers since Saturday but she is really here today.
My appointment with RE is Wednesday (OMG, that's tomorrow).
They have received the letter from my oncologist.

Approximately one month from today I will be starting estrogen patches for FET!
On estrogen patches for 7-14 days, depending on lining, then transfer.
SO if my calculations are correct, FET should be end of March, maybe beginning of April, depending on good ol' AF again.

Vegas...maybe

So before I decided to do a FET I have been planning a girls' trip to Vegas the first weekend in June. There about 8 of us that are planning to go. We have yet to buy our airfare or book hotels. Tonight I saw one of the ladies that I plan to go with and she was talking about how she wanted to book her airfare soon. I feel bad that I am keeping from her that I might be pregnant then and won't want to go if I cant drink. I don't want to tell anyone though we're doing this FET because if it doesn't work then I will go on the trip and drink my ass off ;) There are enough people going and everyone knows each other so it won't be a big deal if they all book everything and then I can't go but I just feel like I'm keeping such a secret. I told the lady tonight that I might not have money to buy my plane tickets until April (aka know if I'm pregnant or not). When we get home from Vegas I am going to Cozumel the next week so if this FET doesn't work I will definitely have plenty of opportunity to drink away my sorrows.

Quick Update

Just wanted to give you a quick update:

I had my annual and pap yesterday (oh so fun) because that's required before doing a FET. I had a new OB and she was really great. She said I had a beautiful cervix (weird thing to tell someone I think) and that my cervix is posterior which means it is set back toward my butt more than a "normal" uterus...whatever. I also had her check my FSH level just for the hell of it. If you recall in the midst of my menopause from chemo my FSH was 79.9!!! Today, it is 6, that's right 6. That's the best it's ever been...how weird.

Next week I meet with the radiation oncologist to see if I am going to have to do radiation, but I don't want to. I am still waiting for this month's AF to show up so I can get a better idea of when the FET will be next month but so far...nothing.

Send some AF vibes my way please-she should be here any day now according to last month.

Next Wed. I have a meeting with the RE about how many embies to thaw/transfer.

Beautiful Blogger Award

Thank you Fran for the nomination.

Here's what I have to do:

* Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
* Copy the award and paste it to your blog.

* Tell us 7 interesting facts about yourself!

1. I love to watch the washing machine wash (weird, I know).
2. I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom.
3. Sometimes I really wonder if I can teach for another 20 years.
4. I am not afraid of dying.
5. I love Britney Spears.
6. It's a little scary to open myself up so much and not know who's reading my blog.
7. I am already planning on my FET working (jinxing myself??)


And finally:

* Nominate 3 bloggers that you love and link to their blog (I changed it from 7).

Bella: Bella & Her Fella
A: Waiting for Baby
Lindsey: My IVF Reality

Furbaby Expansion

Today we added to our furbabies...this is Zoey a nine week old lab mix. She joins our Boston Terrier and our cat.

Selfish?

I am starting to think, is is selfish for me to want a baby? Gosh, I want to be a mother so bad, but is it fair? Is it fair to have a baby knowing full well that I probably won't be alive to see it graduate from high school or get married? I want more than anything to have a baby with my husband but do I want either my husband or child (children) to have to go through the pain of losing a wife/mother? What if my child inherits my cancer? I can't live with myself if that's the case.

I've asked my DH and he assures me that no matter what, he wants a baby with me, even if that means that he has to raise it (them) on his own (with the help of our parents of course). I know that's a hard thing for a lot to digest, but it's something very realistic that we've had to talk about and digest.

I have to assume that if God does not want me to have a baby, he will not allow these frozen embies to implant. For now, my oncologist has emailed my RE and decided that I am OK to have a baby!!!

Come out, Come out, wherever you are...

I notice my number of visitors on this blog and am amazed, yet I don't get many comments. Please, if only this one time, comment and tell me who you are, where you're from, and how you found my blog.

Can't wait to hear from you!!