Surgery #2

Just an FYI, surgery to remove the tumors from my left side is scheduled for tomorrow at 7:30 AM. I will post and let you know how I'm doing. This surgery should be a lot less invasive than the last.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.

Merry Christmas!

2 Month Stats

The babies had their 2 month appointment today and the pediatrician was thrilled with their progress, as were we.

Kesleigh: 11 lbs 12 oz.
Preston: 8 lbs 2 oz.
Gavin: 9 lbs 2 oz.

As you can see the babies are growing like crazy. Kesleigh is in the 75th percentile for her weight and that's not adjusted for her prematurity. She is also in the 90th percentile for her head not adjusted for her prematurity. The boys are both at the 5-10th percentile before adjusted for prematurity and the 50th percentile with it adjusted for their prematurity.

WARNING-GROSS PIC

So you are aware of how gig the tumor was, here is the incision. It's HUGE!
I am home and doing pretty well. It still takes my breath and energy away to do small things like walk up the stairs but I am getting better and on good pain meds:) I have a post op appointment in the next two weeks and it will probably be my pre-op for the left side surgery. That surgery shouldn't be nearly as big as this last one. Hopefully they will be able to peel the tumor away instead of having to take another lobe. The good news is that my breathing will go back to normal (or somewhat normal). We do live at high altitude though so that makes it a bit tougher but oh well.

OK, here's the pic of the incision, don't look if you're squeamish.

I'm OK

Last night was a little rough but we are trying to get things under control. The epidural is still working but not covering the large span of my back as it was before. Right now we are playing with med doses etc. I am still having some trouble breathing but that's to be expected and it's getting better. The biggest trouble is taking a deep breath.

I am not sure if people are aware of how much of my lung they took, Originally the surgeon said he was going to have to take my entire left lung due to the size but instead took about 80% of it. The tumor was one giant one THE SIZE OF A CANTALOUPE! I cannot get over how big that is.

Surgery

First, thank you for all the well wishes from the last post, I cried as I read them that people that I've never even met can be such an amazing support system...thank you!

Surgery is set for Friday, I have to be at the hospital by 6am (no big deal since we have to be up for the 4am feeding). I am going to miss my babies but I will also be able to catch up on sleep that I have definitely been missing. We are still debating on whether to bring the babies to the hospital to visit me. We are worried about germs but I think if they stay covered in their stroller until they get to my room they should be fine. I am also going to be on a floor where everyone has had chest surgery so it's not like everyone is sick. What are your thoughts?

I will have my husband update the blog to let you know how everything went with surgery.

A big thank you to Mrs. Hoppy for bringing us food today. We had never even met and she wanted to help out. Thank you!

Cancer Vent

I need to vent and here is the only place I feel like I can really let it all out so here it goes...

My thoracic surgeon called and wants to do surgery to remove the tumors on my right side next week. This surgery will be bigger than any I've had in the past and recovery will be rough (his words). I will be in the hospital for a week and recovery time will be 6-8 weeks. TO add to that, he wants to go in and get the tumors on the left side 2-3 weeks after the left side surgery. We can't do it all at once because it's too much for my body to handle. Of course my biggest concern is these babies. My husband can't do it all alone. Yes, we have parents here and yes people have offfered to help but I feel so terrible having to be away from them. I know this is what I need to do in order to give me a better chance of survival but I just keep thinking that if I hadn't been so slefish in wanting babies that we woulnd't be in this situation.

What if I don't make it through it this time? What if my babies don't even get to have any memories of me but through the pictures we have taken so far? I know this sounds so morbid. In the past I thought about cancer taking me but nothing like this. I don't want my babies to grow up without a mom, I don't want my husband to lose his wife, I don't want my parents to lose a daughter, and I don't want my siblings to lose a sister.

My elderly neighbor just came over as I was writing this post and brought me a dozen yellow roses and a bamboo plant. As we were talking she says "God never gives us more than we can handle" and she doesn't know about any of the cancer stuff. It's so true and I needed to hear that.

Thanks for letting me vent (and cry as I wrote this post).